Bob and Michelle's little stories

  I'm on my phone one morning checking up on Twitter when I notice a post. "Wanted new man of the house. " "Must be good boyfriend material " “Must be good around the house “ "DM me why your bf material   " I see this like it and carry on looking through. Later that day I'm sat at my desk at work when I start again looking at Twitter.   This time it opens up to the post. "Now this has got to be an omen " I think. So I thought a min and decide what have I got to loose.   I'm sat thinking about it . I reply by just saying " because you deserve better i will give it to you   because I will be forever yours " . I put my phone down and carry on with work but within 10 seconds the phone bleeps.   A reply " thank you for your time in response to the ad I will be in touch " Must be a auto reply I think and put the phone back down and carry on.     1 hour later the phone bleeps again. So congratulati

  Ava is sat at home one night with her new flat mate. Her flat mate was always on her phone in fact she lived on it day and night. She would disappear every now and again come back message away and then be off again. “Who are you messaging tonight?” Ava asked. “Oh john” Emma replied “Who’s john” “Oh just some bloke” “Nice is he? “ “He’s okay” “So why the messages” “He just asked me what I was wearing so I told him and he didn’t believe me that I only had shorts and a t shirt on so I sent him a photo. He then said what about bra and knickers and I said no. so I had to send him another picture to prove it.” “What!!   Why? So many questions “ “I started a Twitter account a few years ago now as just a laugh really. It started as a bit of fun just posting things I was doing and such. I posted a picture one night after being out of me just got home showing me in my bra and knickers saying “I’m so drunk tonight I can’t undo my bra can some body help me?” the best of it